


And When You Leave Me

by brb_actualizing_the_self



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Heavy Angst, It’s only angst, M/M, Pre-Apocalypse, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 10:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19462402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brb_actualizing_the_self/pseuds/brb_actualizing_the_self
Summary: Crowley can’t stop thinking about Aziraphale. His smile, his hair, his hands, his eyes, his kindness. His love. A love that once made Crowley whole, but now only makes him feel like a blackhole, caving in on itself





	And When You Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> This really is one mega hurt, so prepare your emotions.

Crowley had no idea how he and Aziraphale got here. Sure they have had arguments before, but nothing like this. They stand underneath the gazebo, shielding them from the cold wind and rain. Aziraphale stands in the middle of the pavilion, Crowley at one of the entrances. 

“Crowley, we can’t just run away from everything,” Aziraphale’s face shifted into one of pain. “There are people who need us!”

“No, there are people that need you, Aziraphale. There’s no point for me here anymore. There’s nothing for us, Angel.” Crowley tries to step forward, but Aziraphale inches back. 

“Crowley, humanity need both of us. We have lives here-“ Aziraphale was cut off by Crowley’s anger, “You have a life here. Not me. The humans don’t need me, never have. There’s nothing they can give us.” Crowley attempts to move forward a second time, but Aziraphale moves back again, looking as if he’s trying to protect himself. Crowley now stands in the middle, Aziraphale at the opposite entrance.

Then Crowley sees it. He sees the tears in Aziraphale’s eyes. Too focused on his own desires to notice before. Crowley stops, “Angel,” Crowley whispers, his face falls. 

Aziraphale wipes what would have been tears, “No, Crowley. Maybe you can run from things forever, but I can’t. Humanity needs me, so I’m going. Goodbye, Anthony.” And suddenly, Aziraphale is gone. 

Could you hear the shatter? That was Crowley.

He falls to his knees, arms limp at his sides, sunglasses sliding off. He doesn’t even attempt to stop the tears from falling. It would be pointless to try anyway, there’s too many to stop. 

____________________

Crowley walks home even though it’s raining. He doesn’t care anymore. The rain on his skin feels colder now, like ice. It chills his flesh and bones. His hair, soaking with rain, drips onto his face and glasses. The drips blend in with the tears that still haven’t stopped. There’s no one around, so no one sees. He wouldn’t even care if anyone noticed anyway. 

Maybe that was his problem, that he never cared. That he never bothered. That he never even tries. That he never helps. That he only inflicts pain. That he can never seem to get anything right. Always wrong.

That he never stayed and always ran. That’s what Aziraphale said right? That he always ran, like the worthless demon he is. 

And so he fulfills his purpose, and runs home. 

————————————

Crowley slams the bedroom door behind him. His knees buckle and he falls to the floor. He sits with his knees to his chest and arms crossed over. Mo  
But Aziraphale didn’t remember him after Crowley Fell.

And of course he remembers when he Fell. Crowley remembers every single detail of it. The memories burned into his mind, to constantly reminding him of his sins and his failures. 

He remembers the agonizing pain of his siblings, the other archangels, ripping his halo off. He remembers being thrown into the scorching hellfire. 

He remembers his wings burning from white to death. 

Crowley can never forget it, and now he can’t forget what he did to Aziraphale.  
Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Potential chapter 2 with comfort, who knows


End file.
